the old stoop

visit at house and soul sky fundraiser 008Several days ago I took some photos before closing and selling my little family house. I had already decided to downsize, and neither of my sons wanted to keep it.

I found this photo to be my favorite. On this stoop from the back deck I would sit. I would sit with that first cup of coffee. I would sit and wait for the boys to get home from school. When they were little, I watched them ride their tricycles and then their two wheelers or shoot hoops in Mr. Butler’s driveway. I would sit, later, waiting for someone due home with the car and very late and soon to be grounded.

You get the picture. I also talked on the phone, heard good and bad news, wrote long letters, and made important decisions from that stoop. I decided it was not in my best interest to run over my husband’s girlfriend, and I made even better plans like returning to school and making choices like forgiving, forgetting, and letting go.  Recognizing it is a process is maybe the first step.

It is a big weight off my shoulders to see the SOLD sign on the property. People who will love the old place and appreciate the great neighbors and beautiful yard will make it their home now.

It is bittersweet, also, because a few dreams died there. But I know there is now room inside me for new ones, and I have more to laugh about, to enjoy, and less to cry about than ever. I know I must embrace all the experiences, and have my sons, and ex-husband, close family members and friends to help me focus on that important fact.  Bitterness is just not becoming on or in me.

The stoop will have some new adventures of its own now.  So long good buddy.

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