When I sat next to my grandmother by her chair there was a big basket where she kept her letters and many, many postcards. She loved exchanging letters and she had friends that always kept in touch when they traveled. She had a friend that I remember calling “Miss Moffet” who wrote often and sent the most exciting picture postcards from foreign lands like Africa and Italy and California. Grandma and I would talk about all the adventures she must be having and we would discuss all the ways to describe the scenes in my head.
So, maybe that is why I like words. I enjoy breaking down their meaning and rearranging them to be useful to me. I have difficulty with conversation. I do not speak well. After talking with a close friend recently I reflected on something he said. We were talking about days ahead, things we both would like to do. We were discussing the process of decision-making.
The conversation was something like this. “You look at things differently. You come from a place where you are all about the journey in this life, not always about where you are going. He asks, “Do you even know where you want to go?”
Thinking on this, I looked up the definitions of the word journey. The literal is different from what the thesaurus presents, of course. And then, in the last hour I have been looking up the word in different languages, just to add to the mix.
I do know this. I have fallen in love again. With music. Long ago I followed different bands and listened to acoustic sets but once involved with my family I went out less. I spent more time watching Sesame Street. And attending Little League games.
Now, writing about the music I hear at open mics and different gigs at different venues, I am looking for words. When I see a show, I am coming up with even more words. I read reviews, I read biographies. As I fumble along with this, I take pictures. It is a much different process than for my past writing newspaper stories. Or being the family photographer at a family reunion where everyone poses. I go and I practice and practice to catch expressions, and to attain clarity during that drum roll or guitar lick. Sometimes, I am very lucky. Sometimes, I have watched that musician so much, I am waiting for that moment that I know may be coming that I want to capture, and I see it.
Admittedly, at times, no words are needed.
So, I understand my journey a little. And I agree with my friend. I am not always sure where I am going, or even some days I don’t even know what I want at all in all honesty. There will always be changes in this life. I am going to stay on this path awhile, though. It brings me great joy. And I believe, meant to be shared.