Good Steps

Much better news after this visit to the eye specialist!

Friday traffic cooperated for my trip up to Slingerlands with my driver, Walt.  He knows the route well as his wife is in need of visiting there frequently.

autumn colors

A result of severe myopia, the neovascularization played great havoc in my left eye.  However, though some fluid is left, there is great improvement.  The Avastin  injections are working.   I have some scarring, and a fuzzy spot continues, but I was able to read a letter on Friday.  Actually, a vowel.

A long way, baby, these travels.

I will continue to visit Naomi Falk, MD and her staff monthly.  We need to keep new vessels from forming and watch that right eye like a hawk.

The tentative plan will be to get those new lenses and dark glasses in the spring. And to take it day by day and minute by minute to quote those Doobie Brothers.

Feeling grateful and humble.






As many others, I have been craving for this morning.  Sunshine!

How I love the autumn with its dramatic changes and smells of leaves and musk and warm squash soup on the stove.

Pumpkins will be sorted and the rest of the plants brought in that may survive the winter and its time to ready the deck with its Halloween lights and faces.

A walk is on the list and a short play visit with my favorite 2 year old and her chickens.  She is quite busy as one may imagine.  She and her brother warms my heart.  Enjoy your day!


Dark glasses

Counting down days does not feel right at all.   My motto is to take in life daily.  And by the moment, as I can.

I have gotten to know myself very well in my years on this beautiful planet.

I am scared.   In 15 days my results from my first set of eye treatments will be in. Lots of questions to be answered.  I have written down some new jokes.

Busy as a bee is how I have stayed.   From readying my home for a possible sell, to getting back to basics and preparing for the winter, taking it back off the market.  I fortunately have patient family and a couple of understanding friends.   No, schizophrenia is not part of the diagnosis.  The house looks nice with all this self care and the barn looks welcoming.  And, as long as I can putt around safely locally I have had to schedule stuff.  You know, like getting the auto serviced and checked for snow and poor conditions ahead, and putting up veggies for soups.  Pup sitting for an old neighbor and my walks had increased to stick with Lucy’s (the pup) schedule and it was joyful for ten days.

The news is filled of weather events with hurricane horrors, and political rantings.

Writing helps.   From chicken scratching in notebooks to putting finishing touches on my book.   Family emails keep everyone on board and pass around the happiness and news of a new baby.  Though long distance I will enjoy the perks of being a great -aunt.

Asking a nurse friend who has expertise in the eye field was informative.  She was kind to give me  some of her tips, which included the importance of a really good pair of sunglasses.      And vitamins, and good nutrition incorporating green leafy vegetables.   Saline eye drops are important when eyes get tired from too much screen work or are just dry.     Those breaks are helpful, also, breaking up activities.

And it is a good time to fall back on the most important basic.   Faith. I feel humble.

My long list of questions will be answered at that appointment.   I wear transitional lenses and plop over a set of pink sunglasses to darken even more these days.  I look absolutely ridiculous. They do the trick for now, and later I can deal with prescription changes.  Good friends are making sure I get to the docs.  I want all the fuzziness to go away and to not get these injections and drops as a habit.

Alice, my friend.


Practicing being grateful has been another mindfulness tool, when my attention is all about me.  I meditate weekly with good friends, and practice as I can daily.   Sometimes I just fall asleep.  The audio books are a wonder, and fill hours with different stories.  I pour through cookbooks and listen to countless moments from music in cds, radio, and local venues.  Soon the cool temps will encourage back to swimming at the Y.   Time to get back to working out with my son.  Ten more pounds to lose.  Control what I can.  We have options, always.  And power.

Today I have planned an afternoon with friends, two of them being children who light up my life in countless ways.  Letters have been sent to those who I miss and I have a couple of music events to write about.   Apple picking and pie and the smell of autumn soon to be in the air.  The library is a safe haven filled with books, information, movies, and events, from book clubs to handiwork classes and game night.

So very much to be grateful for.   Every minute.










A pumpkin’s story

Sunflower kids

Punk lives with his friends on the Gentlewoman’s farm.   It has been a warm and rainy summer, and he has had a chance to get to know all who live and visit.


He has met little River, and looks forward to the day when Trenton comes to take him to their house.   Punk is unsure about the holiday called Halloween, but he does think it sounds fun.   He may sit with the flowers, or maybe be a head of a scarecrow or goblin.  He may hold a candle and have a funny, funny face.

Punk is on the left.
Brand new

He visits with Billy Bean and the Sunflower kids.   They like guessing games and at night they play hide and seek.  Sometimes the deer and turkeys visit.   Punk likes the baby turkeys because they squeak.

All of the pumpkins in the patch on the Gentlewoman’s farm hope to go with Trenton to his school and fourth grade kids that will take them home.  This  is a rough draft as a second in the series on the Gentlewoman’s Farm.  Ideas protected by WordPress  and steps toward a copywrite.  Input welcome.



The wrong side of the bed

A few years ago I found myself being the patient.   Working in the health care field for many minutes since the age of 19 did not prepare me. The thought of me being sick  threw me ‘for a loop’ as mom used to say.

Fear.   Loss of independence.  Pain.

I found  help.   I leaned on family and the closest of friends.  With an assist of a great practitioner and being introduced to a team approach which included physical therapy and nutrition counseling was positive.  Rest and doing things that I enjoy helped.   A simple process, to some.

However, my thinking had to change.

Tools, they are called.  Life tools.

Traveling to Slingerlands now I get some time to think.   I get on the elevators with kids.   Some have patches on their eye.    They are little, just starting in this life.

The word gratitude comes to me.  Practicing it more helps.  Thoughts that are fearful and whirling in my head change to a moment or two of peace.   At least I get back to normal breathing.  Me going from feeling sorry that I am not good at shelving books in the library to what else can I do questions.     I had a great time taking photos once upon a time; I can still write and ‘chicken scratch’ to my heart’s content.

My siblings reminded me of the time at Christmas when our dad was hospitalized and had his chemo.   He liked walking down to the pediatric wing and visit.  That year the nurses had bought several remote race cars for the handful that needed to be stay.

disc and party inmichigan 1308
Cool glasses on my 60th.

The little ones ran around gleefully, chasing all who visited.   Remembering that afternoon with all the laughter is one of the ways I will always remember my dad.

So, the CNV and I are making some peace.  In two weeks I have another injection and in October we will evaluate the progress on my left eye.   Trusting these docs has been a giant step for me.    A really Big step.

And, the reminder to myself that despite wearing glasses, I have always had the gift of sight.    Being called Ms. Magoo  is not such a bad thing, after all.  I have a toolbox now.